belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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