I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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