her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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