It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
