I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
