Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
