Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize