U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
