he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
