idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
