just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
