Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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