well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
