Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
