She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
