I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
