is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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