another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
