I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
