it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Life is so much better after having sex.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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