Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
