to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
