I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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