You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
