Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
