I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
3 2 1 whiskey
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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