Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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