I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
