I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
