I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
