i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
