is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
