i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
