I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
