I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
