Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?

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(516): View more from New York

whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

Fav 15 10920 1450
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(210): View more from Texas

i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

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(213): View more from California

Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

Fav 14 6483 2056
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(248): View more from Michigan

The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats

Fav 2 1667 876
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.

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(646): View more from New York

"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything

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