He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They have beer where we have blood.
i now understand why vodka
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
