what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
