I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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