Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
