how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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