In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and she was petting her beer can
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pants are for mortals
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
