butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
