Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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