Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
