Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
