We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
