I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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