i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
