I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
